Conservative Confessions

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JTA
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Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:59 pm

I like America.

I like the American flag.

I like conservative SC.

I like guns, but try not too shoot them too much because I like to conserve my bullets.

I like hanging out with conservatives.

I like conservative food.

I like to conserve energy so my power bill is low.

I like to conserve money.

-------------------------

I don't like dressing conservatively.

I refuse to get a conservative haircut.

I'm not really into conservative music.

All I got for now...
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neoplacebo
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by neoplacebo » Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:19 am

I like conservative women; they're quite pliable and very engaging to converse (conservatively) with.
JTA
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:14 am

Monster trucks.
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neoplacebo
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by neoplacebo » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:28 pm

The best part is they're funny like "ha ha" and also funny like "are you fucking kidding me?" Not many places you can get that.
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bannination
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by bannination » Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:54 pm

I'm a good Christian man, but ... secretly I'd totally sin with Sarah Palin.
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bannination
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by bannination » Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:53 pm

Vrede wrote:I'm a good Christian woman, but ... secretly I'd totally sin with Sarah Palin, too.
Woot double team it!
JTA
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:12 pm

Conservative (forum) confessions:

I think veggie burgers taste really good (http://blueridgedebate.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1080).
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JTA
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Sun Apr 13, 2014 7:32 pm

Conservative confession: I like windows 8, maybe even more than windows 7.

:shh:
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bannination
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by bannination » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:47 pm

JTA wrote:Conservative confession: I like windows 8, maybe even more than windows 7.

:shh:
You shouldn't support Microsoft, they're a bunch of queer lovers. Stay away from Firefox too.... bunch of faggots.

Sauce: http://conservativepoliticalforum.com/p ... a-firefox/
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bannination
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by bannination » Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:27 am

Vrede wrote:Some like Opera. I sure hope no one logs on and tells them that Opera Software is in socialist Norway where SSM has been legal for years and Brendan Eich never would have gotten the job in the first place.
Another one taken over by the socialist gays. Dang it. I think I'm just going to SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN and go back to oil lamps. The ghays will not get me.

Maybe I'll telnet into the web server and parse the HTML manually in my head.
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rstrong
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by rstrong » Thu May 29, 2014 12:59 am

I find it informative to see the "Sexy Lady Silhouette" on a truck's rear window, tail-gate or mud flap. It lets you know immediately that the driver sees women as vaguely arousing, faceless voids of blackness.

It makes "Vote Republican" seem kinda wordy.
JTA
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Fri May 30, 2014 6:06 pm

rstrong wrote:I find it informative to see the "Sexy Lady Silhouette" on a truck's rear window, tail-gate or mud flap. It lets you know immediately that the driver sees women as vaguely arousing, faceless voids of blackness.

It makes "Vote Republican" seem kinda wordy.
Truck balls make me stop and think "Now there goes a real man... an apple-pie and baseball American. Most likely a lumberjack or fisherman."
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rstrong
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by rstrong » Fri May 30, 2014 6:16 pm

You can now get an iPhone case with those hanging off it.

It doesn't have quite the same effect.
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Fri May 30, 2014 6:39 pm

rstrong wrote:You can now get an iPhone case with those hanging off it.

It doesn't have quite the same effect.
When I become rich from my scratch off lottery winnings, with bud-light in hand I'm going to buy the biggest most badass pickup truck I can find, attach some truck balls to it, attach a mustache on the front grill, get me a big ass git-r-done decal for the back window, throw on a howling wolf t-shirt (sans the sleeves), throw on my most used and abused faded cut off jean shorts, throw on my mullet, get me half a gun tattooed on my waist line near my john-thomas, and crown myself king of white trash.

I will have won at life.
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JTA
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Fri May 30, 2014 6:39 pm

rstrong wrote:You can now get an iPhone case with those hanging off it.

It doesn't have quite the same effect.
When I become rich from my scratch off lottery winnings, with bud-light in hand I'm going to buy the biggest most badass pickup truck I can find, attach some truck balls to it, attach a mustache on the front grill, get me a big ass git-r-done decal for the back window, throw on a howling wolf t-shirt (sans the sleeves), throw on my most used and abused faded cut off jean shorts, throw on my mullet, get me half a gun tattooed on my waist line near my john-thomas, and crown myself king of white trash.

I will have won the game of life.
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rstrong
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by rstrong » Fri May 30, 2014 8:11 pm

JTA wrote: and crown myself king of white trash.
Don't forget the Confederate flags.

And the deep-fried that-which-was-not-meant-to-be-deep-fried.

And at least one tattoo with a spelling mistake, or supporting Palin/McCain 08 or other losing candidate.

And an AR-15 for hunting squirrels.
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Fri May 30, 2014 9:53 pm

rstrong wrote:
JTA wrote: and crown myself king of white trash.
Don't forget the Confederate flags.

And the deep-fried that-which-was-not-meant-to-be-deep-fried.

And at least one tattoo with a spelling mistake, or supporting Palin/McCain 08 or other losing candidate.

And an AR-15 for hunting squirrels.
RON PAUL 2012
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JTA
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by JTA » Fri May 30, 2014 10:14 pm

Conservative Confession:

I once had a dream where I was Mitt Romney's adopted son. Weird part was he adopted me at my current age, not me as a kid, so I thought he was maybe gay for me or something weird like that but turns out that wasn't the case. Honestly though I can't remember much about the dream really, other than Romney being my pops, so it's possible that in my dream Romney may have slipped me a lil something or my dream was actually pretty lame, but anyway I do remember coming to a realization in the dream that Romney turned out to be the man and was cool as hell.

Woke up the next morning ready to vote for Romney but turns out its 2014 not 2012 so those plans had to be put on hold for a little while.
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neoplacebo
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by neoplacebo » Mon Jun 02, 2014 8:29 pm

I am Ted Cruz, and I'm gay for Marco Rubio. I also put salt on snails.
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rstrong
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Re: Conservative Confessions

Unread post by rstrong » Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:54 pm

Conservative Confession:

I'm not sure that Bush & Cheney were right about Iraq welcoming America as liberators, that the war would last only a few months if not weeks, or that it would pay for itself or cost only a couple $billion.

I blame Obama for confusing me on this.
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