Name in purple

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DooHickey
Pilot Officer
Posts: 156
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 8:28 pm
Location: Biltmore Park, NC

Re: Name in purple

Unread post by DooHickey »

I found this old email, Stinger. It fits your bullyish demeanor, so enjoy reading about yourself:

*LOVE OLDER PEOPLE....*

AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE.
THE OLD WOMAN HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE BRUSHING THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID DANCE ... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW" .....
AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -- STARTED HOPPING AROUND LIKE A FLEA ON A HOT SKILLET. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING, FIT TO BE TIED.

WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS... THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.

THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S ASS ?

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MA'AM... BUT,...BUT, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."

USING THIS STORY AS A LESSON, THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:

1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.
2 - DON'T WASTE AMMUNITION.
3 - ANONYMITY MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE SMARTER THAN YOU ARE.
4 - ALWAYS, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHO HAS THE POWER.
5 - DON'T MESS WITH OLDER PEOPLE ..... THEY DIDN'T GET OLD BY BEING STUPID.


I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Leo L

Re: Name in purple

Unread post by Leo L »

I'll bet Stinger wishes he were that gunslinger in that story; he'd be great giving that mule a "happy ending."
You rock Stinger.

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neoplacebo
Admiral of the Fleet
Posts: 12038
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 1:42 pm
Location: Kingsport TN

Re: Name in purple

Unread post by neoplacebo »

DooHickey wrote:I found this old email, Stinger. It fits your bullyish demeanor, so enjoy reading about yourself:

*LOVE OLDER PEOPLE....*

AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE.
THE OLD WOMAN HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE BRUSHING THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID DANCE ... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW" .....
AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -- STARTED HOPPING AROUND LIKE A FLEA ON A HOT SKILLET. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING, FIT TO BE TIED.

WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS... THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.

THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S ASS ?

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MA'AM... BUT,...BUT, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."

USING THIS STORY AS A LESSON, THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:

1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.
2 - DON'T WASTE AMMUNITION.
3 - ANONYMITY MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE SMARTER THAN YOU ARE.
4 - ALWAYS, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHO HAS THE POWER.
5 - DON'T MESS WITH OLDER PEOPLE ..... THEY DIDN'T GET OLD BY BEING STUPID.


I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
Cute, but Thorny, for one, blows number 5 all to hell.

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