Dumb headlines thread

[Leo Lyons]

Anyhow, how lucky is she to have survived and then be found by hikers?

That's the bottom line, despite the need to sensationalize the story.

[O Really]

. Some argue that there's no need for antifreeze in that part of the country...

Anyhow, how lucky is she to have survived and then be found by hikers?

Nevermind where she went off the cliff - she had Oregon plates on the Jeep. Where exactly in Oregon doesn't need antifreeze?

Anyway, as to her luck, I'd say about average. Really bad luck going off the cliff; really good luck getting found/rescued. Averages out.

[Leo Lyons]

Where exactly in Oregon doesn't need antifreeze?

Everywhere. Anyone who can live there is born with antifreeze in their blood!

[Vrede too]

... Speaking of sloppy, in the feel-good story of a woman surviving for a week after crashing her car 200 feet off a cliff into the ocean, one story reported that she "survived by drinking radiator water." Ummm, don't think so. Turned out, she used a piece of radiator hose to siphon water from a fresh-water spring she found. And it may not have even been a radiator hose at all, since she "found it."

This article explains, or at least credits, the water screw up:

Woman survives seven days on spring water after California cliff crash

This July 14 story was corrected to reflect California Highway Patrol retraction of statement that Hernandez said she drank engine radiator water. CHP says Hernandez used a radiator hose to drink water from a spring....

This article has pics - wow! - and describes her survival, discovery and rescue - also wow!

California woman describes finding cliff plunge survivor

[billy.pilgrim]

Headline says, "5-year-old girl attacked by bear and dragged from her home"

Story says kid was inside, then went outside at 2:30 in the morning thinking she heard a strange noise. Ran into the bear. So if you live in Colorado, or WNC and can reasonably expect to see a bear now and then, why on earth would you ever have not made it absolutely clear to the kid not to go outside by herself in the middle of the night, or why would you not have had the latch on the doors anyway?

"A bear attacked and injured a 5-year-old girl in Grand Junction early Sunday morning. At roughly 2:30 a.m., a woman heard screaming coming from her yard in East Orchard Mesa above the Colorado River corridor, according to a statement from Colorado Parks and Wildlife. She went outside and saw a large black bear dragging her 5-year-old daughter. The young girl had gone outside to investigate noises that she thought were caused by her dog. The woman screamed at the black bear, who then dropped the girl, according to Colorado Parks and Wildlife. The young girl was taken to St. Mary’s Medical Center. The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reported late Sunday that doctors said she was in good condition. ..."

My bear horns were delivered last week - hope they work.

It has been almost a daily occurrence for neighbors to see bears while walking their dogs.
The soundside beach, where we take our pup, has new tracks every day. They have put a damper on our night walks to the beach.

the horn worked

my wife came face to face with one - okay - it was 3 doors down the block - but not what you want to see when you turn a corner while walking the dog.
she blew the horn and everybody ran away.

then I turned on the computer and this pops up at the top of the page. it could be my neighborhood

https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/animals ... spartanntp

[Vrede too]

... the horn worked

my wife came face to face with one - okay - it was 3 doors down the block - but not what you want to see when you turn a corner while walking the dog.
she blew the horn and everybody ran away.

"everybody"?

Do you carry pepper spray, too? Might be a good idea.

then I turned on the computer and this pops up at the top of the page. it could be my neighborhood

https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/animals ... spartanntp

I would put a switch for the jacuzzi inside the house, just for fun.

[billy.pilgrim]

... the horn worked

my wife came face to face with one - okay - it was 3 doors down the block - but not what you want to see when you turn a corner while walking the dog.
she blew the horn and everybody ran away.

"everybody"?

Do you carry pepper spray, too? Might be a good idea.

then I turned on the computer and this pops up at the top of the page. it could be my neighborhood

https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/animals ... spartanntp

I would put a switch for the jacuzzi inside the house, just for fun.

bear would probably love it - cubhood memories of a babbling brook

[Leo Lyons]

[O Really]

"Accused Golden State Killer to be charged for first murder in 1975"

Well, I can't wait for 1975 to arrive so we can see what they do to this guy.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/ac ... &ocid=iehp

[Vrede too]

"Accused Golden State Killer to be charged for first murder in 1975"

Well, I can't wait for 1975 to arrive so we can see what they do to this guy.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/ac ... &ocid=iehp

Sometimes they hilariously sacrifice accuracy and grammar for brevity. However, this one is only 2 characters shorter than:
"Accused Golden State Killer to be charged for 1975 murder, his first"

1975 would be cool again. I can't remember the first time.

[billy.pilgrim]

how about - Youth Shooters of America


Judge Haller, "Uh... did you say 'yutes'?"

http://thehill.com/homenews/media/40150 ... toy-in-his

anyway, the President of the yute shooters bites the strap-on dick
"during the drill before yelling "drop your weapons" and "my mouth is big enough for two of these."

[Vrede too]

Feds open clergy abuse probe in Pennsylvania

. . . Ohhh, they mean abusive clergy.

[O Really]

Man Divorces Wife After Accidentally Catching Her Cheating on Google Maps Street View

Damn, cheating on Google - that's cold.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lif ... &ocid=iehp

[Vrede too]

This Woman Almost Had To Get Her Mouth Sawed After Her Halloween Vampire Wings Got Stuck To Her Teeth

They were vampire fangs, not "Wings", and the fangs would have been sawed, not her "Mouth".

I actually had an image of her lips "Almost" having to be sawed to get the "Wings" off.

Comment:

To top it all off, her dental care was in Alabama. I'll bet the dentist was surprised that she had any teeth at all.

[Leo Lyons]

Man Divorces Wife After Accidentally Catching Her Cheating on Google Maps Street View
Damn, cheating on Google - that's cold.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lif ... &ocid=iehp

This happened in 2013. His mind is still reeling? He gave her one more second chance?

"While navigating down the Bridge of Sighs"---<sigh>

[O Really]

This happened in 2013. His mind is still reeling? He gave her one more second chance?

The pic was taken in 2013 as it happened, but Street View shots are rarely if ever current when you see them on Google maps, so he's just now finding out about it.

[Vrede too]

The pic was taken in 2013 as it happened, but Street View shots are rarely if ever current when you see them on Google maps, so he's just now finding out about it.

Even if the Street View shot had been posted in nearly real time:

He was using the app to decide on a tourist destination to take his wife to on vacation and stumbled upon a woman in an outfit he recognized.

[Leo Lyons]

The pic was taken in 2013 as it happened, but Street View shots are rarely if ever current when you see them on Google maps, so he's just now finding out about it.

Even if the Street View shot had been posted in nearly real time:

He was using the app to decide on a tourist destination to take his wife to on vacation and stumbled upon a woman in an outfit he recognized.

What happens when I go to sleep in the middle of the day. I got it now. The Street View pic was shot in 2013, he just discovered it recently because Google hasn't updated their street view. whew!

I found the shameless hussy! October 2013!

https://www.google.com/maps/@-12.148983 ... 312!8i6656

[Vrede too]

Still asleep?

That is O Really's point. My opinion is that it doesn't matter when Google updated their Street View since he never used it to look at that street until 2018.

[Leo Lyons]

Still asleep?
Partially.

I wonder what type of vehicle Google used to get that street view shot. It appears that is not a through way for motorized vehicles.