A Florida Man...

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Vrede too
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FL Man & PA Man in FL

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Florida man gets 'agitated' by neighborhood Christmas parade, fires off several gunshots: deputies

'Tis the season for peace and goodwill.

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

Image

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P

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billy.pilgrim
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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

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Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am
Florida man gets 'agitated' by neighborhood Christmas parade, fires off several gunshots: deputies

'Tis the season for peace and goodwill.

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

Image

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
Depends on if there’s a hole.
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

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O Really
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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

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Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am


:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
First answer: Yes, shoulda been "statutory rape"

Better answer: of course they should have used a realistic term. Did he hump the statue? Get off on it? Pee on it? either way an inanimate object can't be "sexually molested."

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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

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O Really wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 11:38 am
Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
First answer: Yes, shoulda been "statutory rape"

:lol: :clap:

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billy.pilgrim
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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 12:02 pm
O Really wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 11:38 am
Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
First answer: Yes, shoulda been "statutory rape"

:lol: :clap:
Wouldn’t it be statuary rape?
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

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Vrede too
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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

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billy.pilgrim wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 3:00 pm
Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 12:02 pm
O Really wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 11:38 am
Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
First answer: Yes, shoulda been "statutory rape"

:lol: :clap:
Wouldn’t it be statuary rape?
:lol: :clap:

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billy.pilgrim
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Re: A Florida Parents

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https://www.wcjb.com/2023/12/11/uf-rese ... ce=taboola

. Officers say the couple kept a 6-year-old boy in a cage made out of a wooden bed frame whenever he wasn’t at school.

Xie and Huff would leave the child alone in the house. They told investigators the cage had been in their child’s room for a year.

“Officers found a second makeshift cage in the closet of the master bedroom used for the couple’s other child. Both cages had rails and springs that could cause harm to the kids if they moved inside.“
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

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Florida People

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billy.pilgrim wrote:
Sun Dec 17, 2023 11:01 am
https://www.wcjb.com/2023/12/11/uf-rese ... ce=taboola

. Officers say the couple kept a 6-year-old boy in a cage made out of a wooden bed frame whenever he wasn’t at school.

Xie and Huff would leave the child alone in the house. They told investigators the cage had been in their child’s room for a year.

“Officers found a second makeshift cage in the closet of the master bedroom used for the couple’s other child. Both cages had rails and springs that could cause harm to the kids if they moved inside.“
Trailer trash? Nope:
... A webpage removed from the university’s website stated Xie, hired full-time in June 2019, worked as the Plant Pathology Department’s safety manager. A removed page for Huff, hired full-time in December 2017, described him as a biological scientist who worked for the UF/IFAS Horticultural Sciences Department....
Too cheap for day care?

"safety manager ... leave the (caged) child alone in the house".
A top priority of every safety manager in the world is to ensure the ability to escape in case of fire.

:angry-cussing: :angry-cussing: :angry-cussing:


Florida man smothers nephew's meatball sandwich with eyedrop solution because he 'hated him' that day: police

Borrowed the eyedrops from an employee at a business, likely the sandwich shop, rather than buying his own.
Poisoned the sandwich in front of the employee.
Told the employee his intended victim and motive.
Did all this in view of surveillance cameras.
His address was known "due to prior purchases and deliveries".
"Police said Leach and his nephew have a "long history" of domestic-related incidents, plus several prior calls for service at their home," yet they still live together :wtf:

Florida people, you never disappoint. <smh>

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Florida Pervs...

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Vrede too
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Florida People...

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I got caught in an algorithm. This week in Florida:

'Captain America' nabbed after trying to enter Florida Air Force base for 'top secret' meeting, officials say
Gate security became suspicious when he could not present his shield.

Who knew that this is a thing?
Trio nabbed for stealing hundreds of gallons of used cooking oil from Central Florida restaurants, police say

... "It is believed they may be part of a much larger organization responsible for thousands of dollars worth of stolen oil throughout the area," the Port Orange Police Department said.
A cartel!

All over "multiple packages of cigarettes":
Deltona SWAT standoff: Man sets house on fire after shooting deputy, stealing cigarettes, sheriff says

... a low-speed chase began and ended at his home on Whitehouse Court.

Hadley barricaded himself in his vehicle and ignored SWAT team negotiations. When deputies approached, Hadley allegedly began to shoot at them, and deputies engaged in a "gun battle" with him....

"He tells us to contact President Biden because the president is going to pardon him for everything that he did," Chitwood added.

Hadley then entered the garage of his home, where he began setting fires, which ultimately caused his home and pickup truck to go up in flames, deputies said. Inside his home, Hadley's family told deputies he had ammunition and rifles....

"I've seen a lot of crazy s--- in 36 years. This was absolutely the craziest," (Volusia Sheriff Mike) Chitwood said....
Florida woman punches husband during fight over cigarettes, police say

... a mobile home neighborhood ...

The 31-year-old woman told police she hit her husband multiple times "due to him making statements about her mother." He reportedly took some cigarettes from her, which is what sparked the fight, the affidavit said....
Both cigarettes and MILs are unhealthy.
'Heard noises': Spooked Florida residents hilariously mistake burglar for this (bodycam video)

... When police arrived at the home, with guns drawn, they went in search of the "intruder."

Quickly after entering the building, they found the suspect – a tiny black puppy who belongs to the residents.

According to a Facebook post, the puppy got loose and knocked over several long fluorescent light bulbs.

The alleged burglary turned out to be an inside job.
Awww

'Total surrender and dedication to Jesus': Watch Hulk Hogan get baptized in Florida
He even tapped out.

Bass Pro Shops fish thief at large after allegedly swiping live (50 lb) tarpon from Florida store's pond, deputies say (video)
:wtf: PETA? Fish Friday filets?

And finally,
Winter Solstice 2023: The shortest day of the year in Florida is approaching
:headscratch: I wonder when the shortest day of the year in North Carolina is.
... On the 22nd, the Northern Hemisphere will have about seven hours and 14 minutes of daylight in response to Earth's axis being tilted the farthest away from the sun....
Actually, it's quite variable in the Northern Hemisphere with zero hours of daylight above the Arctic Circle. Then, it was really 10 hours and 19 minutes in Orlando. I have no idea where Kiah Armstrong got "seven hours and 14 minutes" from. In Portland, ME it was eight hours and 55 minutes. Even Edmonton, Alberta was still seven hours and 28 minutes of daylight. Kiah Armstrong must not get out much.

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billy.pilgrim
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Re: Florida People...

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

Vrede too wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 3:01 pm
I got caught in an algorithm. This week in Florida:

'Captain America' nabbed after trying to enter Florida Air Force base for 'top secret' meeting, officials say
Gate security became suspicious when he could not present his shield.

Who knew that this is a thing?
Trio nabbed for stealing hundreds of gallons of used cooking oil from Central Florida restaurants, police say

... "It is believed they may be part of a much larger organization responsible for thousands of dollars worth of stolen oil throughout the area," the Port Orange Police Department said.
A cartel!

All over "multiple packages of cigarettes":
Deltona SWAT standoff: Man sets house on fire after shooting deputy, stealing cigarettes, sheriff says

... a low-speed chase began and ended at his home on Whitehouse Court.

Hadley barricaded himself in his vehicle and ignored SWAT team negotiations. When deputies approached, Hadley allegedly began to shoot at them, and deputies engaged in a "gun battle" with him....

"He tells us to contact President Biden because the president is going to pardon him for everything that he did," Chitwood added.

Hadley then entered the garage of his home, where he began setting fires, which ultimately caused his home and pickup truck to go up in flames, deputies said. Inside his home, Hadley's family told deputies he had ammunition and rifles....

"I've seen a lot of crazy s--- in 36 years. This was absolutely the craziest," (Volusia Sheriff Mike) Chitwood said....
Florida woman punches husband during fight over cigarettes, police say

... a mobile home neighborhood ...

The 31-year-old woman told police she hit her husband multiple times "due to him making statements about her mother." He reportedly took some cigarettes from her, which is what sparked the fight, the affidavit said....
Both cigarettes and MILs are unhealthy.
'Heard noises': Spooked Florida residents hilariously mistake burglar for this (bodycam video)

... When police arrived at the home, with guns drawn, they went in search of the "intruder."

Quickly after entering the building, they found the suspect – a tiny black puppy who belongs to the residents.

According to a Facebook post, the puppy got loose and knocked over several long fluorescent light bulbs.

The alleged burglary turned out to be an inside job.
Awww

'Total surrender and dedication to Jesus': Watch Hulk Hogan get baptized in Florida
He even tapped out.

Bass Pro Shops fish thief at large after allegedly swiping live (50 lb) tarpon from Florida store's pond, deputies say (video)
:wtf: PETA? Fish Friday filets?

And finally,
Winter Solstice 2023: The shortest day of the year in Florida is approaching
:headscratch: I wonder when the shortest day of the year in North Carolina is.
... On the 22nd, the Northern Hemisphere will have about seven hours and 14 minutes of daylight in response to Earth's axis being tilted the farthest away from the sun....
Actually, it's quite variable in the Northern Hemisphere with zero hours of daylight above the Arctic Circle. Then, it was really 10 hours and 19 minutes in Orlando. I have no idea where Kiah Armstrong got "seven hours and 14 minutes" from. In Portland, ME it was eight hours and 55 minutes. Even Edmonton, Alberta was still seven hours and 28 minutes of daylight. Kiah Armstrong must not get out much.
Evidently not, or Kiah may be trying to make himself look as stupid as his fox audience. 10 hours and 19 minutes in Kiah’s own location. The difference between a 7 hour and a 10 hour day should register with the simplest of simpletons.
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

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Vrede too
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Re: Florida People...

Unread post by Vrede too »

Vrede too wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 3:01 pm

And finally,
Winter Solstice 2023: The shortest day of the year in Florida is approaching
:headscratch: I wonder when the shortest day of the year in North Carolina is.
... On the 22nd, the Northern Hemisphere will have about seven hours and 14 minutes of daylight in response to Earth's axis being tilted the farthest away from the sun....
Actually, it's quite variable in the Northern Hemisphere with zero hours of daylight above the Arctic Circle. Then, it was really 10 hours and 19 minutes in Orlando. I have no idea where Kiah Armstrong got "seven hours and 14 minutes" from. In Portland, ME it was eight hours and 55 minutes. Even Edmonton, Alberta was still seven hours and 28 minutes of daylight. Kiah Armstrong must not get out much.
billy.pilgrim wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 3:45 pm
Evidently not, or Kiah may be trying to make himself look as stupid as his fox audience. 10 hours and 19 minutes in Kiah’s own location. The difference between a 7 hour and a 10 hour day should register with the simplest of simpletons.
Herself.

That's what I thought. Missoula was rough, but it's still eight hours and 32 minutes at its worst.

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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

Unread post by .Oomba. »

Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am
Florida man gets 'agitated' by neighborhood Christmas parade, fires off several gunshots: deputies

'Tis the season for peace and goodwill.

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

Image

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
Dugong it!
They call me Creamy Tawdry.

.Oomba.
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Re: A Florida Man...

Unread post by .Oomba. »

Back around 1990, as a leading citizen of Hernando Beach FLA,
I witnessed the Chief of the HBVFD set the grass marshes on fire
after taking the JUL4 fireworks celebration away from the local
yacht club because he deemed them an annual pyrotechnic threat.

I can only wish that this thread existed back then.
They call me Creamy Tawdry.

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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

.Oomba. wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 9:04 pm
Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am
Florida man gets 'agitated' by neighborhood Christmas parade, fires off several gunshots: deputies

'Tis the season for peace and goodwill.

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

Image

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
Dugong it!
Being a Florida man myself I have to ask, Why is The man from Pittsburgh in the Florida man thread?
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

.Oomba.
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Re: FL Man & PA Man in FL

Unread post by .Oomba. »

billy.pilgrim wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 11:25 pm
.Oomba. wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 9:04 pm
Vrede too wrote:
Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:55 am
Florida man gets 'agitated' by neighborhood Christmas parade, fires off several gunshots: deputies

'Tis the season for peace and goodwill.

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

Image

:o O Really, should they use some phrase other than "sexually molests" when it's a manatee and/or statue? :P
Dugong it!
Being a Florida man myself I have to ask, Why is The man from Pittsburgh in the Florida man thread?
Said the golfer to his caddy, "Man, a tee!"
They call me Creamy Tawdry.

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Vrede too
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Florida people...

Unread post by Vrede too »

.Oomba. wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 11:35 pm
billy.pilgrim wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 11:25 pm
.Oomba. wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 9:04 pm
Dugong it!
Being a Florida man myself I have to ask, Why is The man from Pittsburgh in the Florida man thread?
Said the golfer to his caddy, "Man, a tee!"
Pervert.


Florida woman threatens to kill ex-boyfriend, his new girlfriend if they don't have sex with her, deputies say

Image

:wtf: How could they refuse that face?
A Florida woman has found herself behind bars after sending a series of threatening text messages to her ex-boyfriend, including a threat to kill him and his new girlfriend if they don't have sex with her, according to an arrest affidavit from the Lake County Sheriff's Office.

Cynthia Ann Ray, 38, was arrested and charged with aggravated stalking and sending written threats to kill after the incident that unfolded on Christmas Day, deputies said....
Joy to the world ...

It's been a rough 38 years.

Florida man in Naperville, Illinois:
Florida man shoots, kills half-brother on Christmas while he was looking for his cellphone, officials say

... An investigation revealed that Watson was reportedly downstairs and became upset when he couldn't find his cellphone, according to authorities. He slammed a card table on the floor, and that's when Yarborough, who was upstairs, allegedly shot down toward Watson, striking him in the abdomen....
:wtf: Would FL SYG law have applied if it's not the shooter's home, not the shooter's card table, not the shooter's cellphone, and they're on different levels of a structure? What is it with Floridians shooting family on Christmas?

Silent night, holy night ...

Largo, again :roll: :
Florida woman strikes victim repeatedly with Christmas tree during argument, police say

What, no gun handy? Not even a frying pan? Is this sacrilege?
... Rivera and the victim were in a verbal altercation at the time of the incident, police said. At one point, the two separated from one another after the victim went into the living room. That's when Rivera followed them into the living room, picked up a Christmas tree and struck the victim repeatedly while they were lying on the couch, according to the affidavit.

The victim suffered several minor scratches on much of his upper body and arms....
And it will be February before he finds all the tinsel.

"his"? Damn, they (actually she) was doing so good with the gender-neutral pronouns.

... Of all the trees most lovely.
Each year you bring to us delight
With brightly shining Christmas light! ...


Minneola:
Florida woman smashes man's taillight after he refuses to pay her for 'sexual favors,' deputies say

Assuming that everything the "victim" says is accurate, what kind of weenie exposes himself to the hassle and public humiliation over a "$400" taillight, especially when he likely damaged her cell phone first and insurance might cover the taillight repair, anyhow?

Hark, the herald angels sing ...

Ho ho ho, y'all.

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billy.pilgrim
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Re: Florida people...

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

Vrede too wrote:
Thu Dec 28, 2023 8:18 am
.Oomba. wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 11:35 pm
billy.pilgrim wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 11:25 pm
.Oomba. wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 9:04 pm
Dugong it!
Being a Florida man myself I have to ask, Why is The man from Pittsburgh in the Florida man thread?
Said the golfer to his caddy, "Man, a tee!"
Pervert.


Florida woman threatens to kill ex-boyfriend, his new girlfriend if they don't have sex with her, deputies say

Image

:wtf: How could they refuse that face?
A Florida woman has found herself behind bars after sending a series of threatening text messages to her ex-boyfriend, including a threat to kill him and his new girlfriend if they don't have sex with her, according to an arrest affidavit from the Lake County Sheriff's Office.

Cynthia Ann Ray, 38, was arrested and charged with aggravated stalking and sending written threats to kill after the incident that unfolded on Christmas Day, deputies said....
Joy to the world ...

It's been a rough 38 years.

Florida man in Naperville, Illinois:
Florida man shoots, kills half-brother on Christmas while he was looking for his cellphone, officials say

... An investigation revealed that Watson was reportedly downstairs and became upset when he couldn't find his cellphone, according to authorities. He slammed a card table on the floor, and that's when Yarborough, who was upstairs, allegedly shot down toward Watson, striking him in the abdomen....
:wtf: Would FL SYG law have applied if it's not the shooter's home, not the shooter's card table, not the shooter's cellphone, and they're on different levels of a structure? What is it with Floridians shooting family on Christmas?

Silent night, holy night ...

Largo, again :roll: :
Florida woman strikes victim repeatedly with Christmas tree during argument, police say

What, no gun handy? Not even a frying pan? Is this sacrilege?
... Rivera and the victim were in a verbal altercation at the time of the incident, police said. At one point, the two separated from one another after the victim went into the living room. That's when Rivera followed them into the living room, picked up a Christmas tree and struck the victim repeatedly while they were lying on the couch, according to the affidavit.

The victim suffered several minor scratches on much of his upper body and arms....
And it will be February before he finds all the tinsel.

"his"? Damn, they (actually she) was doing so good with the gender-neutral pronouns.

... Of all the trees most lovely.
Each year you bring to us delight
With brightly shining Christmas light! ...


Minneola:
Florida woman smashes man's taillight after he refuses to pay her for 'sexual favors,' deputies say

Assuming that everything the "victim" says is accurate, what kind of weenie exposes himself to the hassle and public humiliation over a "$400" taillight, especially when he likely damaged her cell phone first and insurance might cover the taillight repair, anyhow?

Hark, the herald angels sing ...

Ho ho ho, y'all.
Always a great idea to write out your violent sexual assault and murder plans ahead of time to avoid confusion later on.
And always, always be sure to present a published copy for prosecution (invert Law&Order noise here).
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

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Vrede too
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Re: Florida people...

Unread post by Vrede too »

billy.pilgrim wrote:
Thu Dec 28, 2023 9:05 am
Always a great idea to write out your violent sexual assault and murder plans ahead of time to avoid confusion later on.
And always, always be sure to present a published copy for prosecution (insert Law&Order noise here).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8lDYrvTILc


Hannity announces move to Florida from New York: ‘I am done’

Rick Scott
Dolt .45 and spawn
MadCaw
Now Hannity

You're a lucky guy, billy.pilgrim :P

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billy.pilgrim
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Re: Florida people...

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

Vrede too wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2024 7:20 am
billy.pilgrim wrote:
Thu Dec 28, 2023 9:05 am
Always a great idea to write out your violent sexual assault and murder plans ahead of time to avoid confusion later on.
And always, always be sure to present a published copy for prosecution (insert Law&Order noise here).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8lDYrvTILc


Hannity announces move to Florida from New York: ‘I am done’

Rick Scott
Dolt .45 and spawn
MadCaw
Now Hannity

You're a lucky guy, billy.pilgrim :P
See there. I told you that “Florida Man” isn’t from Florida
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

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