I see what you're saying, but "a crush on a colleague ... workplace romance" is different from an affair with an underling. Sure, most may be fully consensual, but the opportunity for favoritism and/or coercion is real and it's difficult to ascertain whether either is happening from the outside.O Really wrote: ↑Mon Sep 26, 2022 11:02 amSo I'm not a cheater, and I don't condone cheating, but if all Ime Udoka really did was have a consensual affair with a staffer, the one-year (and maybe forever) suspension seems a bit harsh. Maybe it wasn't totally consensual, although nobody so far has claimed it wasn't. Maybe there were other factors of favouritism or discrimination. Maybe he embezzled money to pay her with, I don't know. But if there's more to the story they need to say so.
Yeah, yeah, I know - "an imbalance of organizational power prevents any true consensual relationship." That argument has some merit as a legal/technical construct, but IRL it's bullshit. A person can absolutely voluntarily and willfully enter into a relationship with risks - knowing the risks and for whatever reason choosing to accept them. May not be wise to put that much trust in someone with organizational power over you, but lots of people do - many at their own initiation. Also not wise to put that much trust in someone who may later claim coercion or harassment when things turn south, but lots of people do.
Maybe I've just worked for sleazy organizations, but everywhere I've worked, somebody has had affairs. Again, I'm not saying it's right, just that it's common and most truly consensual affairs don't result in firing/suspension, or harassment charges. Celtics have only given part of the story - what's the rest?What percentage of relationships meet at work?
A new survey from SHRM, the Society for Human Resource Management, found that 50 percent of workers have had a crush on a colleague, and more than one-third (34 percent) of U.S. workers have been involved in or are currently involved in a workplace romance—up 7 percentage points from last year.Feb 11, 2021
Plus, it can disrupt the workplace in general. I worked in a place where a volunteer was promoted to an employee at the same time that she and the boss started an affair. She was a good volunteer and certainly may have been promoted regardless, but I lost respect for both of them.
It's even worse if cheating is involved, creating an ugly bridge between workplace and home life. At one ER a couple of nurses, equal actors, were even caught having sex at work, ewww. AFAIK this was not reported to the boss. He was unattached, but she was married. Threats were made by the husband and the entire department suffered extra security measures until the husband was arrested and the wife moved out. Ick. I don't think that either was fired, but it wasn't long before both moved on to other jobs.
Then, breakups can be really messy, including firing, demotion, involuntary transfer and employee retaliation.
IMO it's better to avoid even the appearance of impropriety and avoid these situations. If urges just can't be resisted, it's better if one participant or the other removes themselves from a direct supervisor/supervised relationship.
